Sunday, 16 November 2014

A Life Update

after studying 3 years of teaching at university (1 year of primary/ arts, followed by 2 years of primary/ early childhood), i have applied and been accepted to change into a bachelor of nursing.

although i have enjoyed the theory side of the education degree, i went on prac earlier in the year to an early childhood centre, and had a negative experience. i struggled to make it through the days surrounded by kids, feeling very anxious and overwhelmed. i ended up withdrawing from my prac part way through and felt my mental health skyrocket back up to its usual level.

with this knowledge, i realised that my enjoyment of the theory behind the degree was not enough to risk my mental health in order to pursue the degree and career.

everyone always says that people who become teachers have a calling towards it, and are very passionate about it. i have never felt this way, and believe that is a sign that it it not meant to be.

i was very nervous about the idea of changing degrees, as it means another 3 years at uni, as well as going back to the beginning and becoming a first year student again. as well as the fact that the nursing degree involves a much higher level of science knowledge that the education degree.

however, as a result of my withdrawal from prac, i would have had another 2.5-3 years left at uni regardless.

it was difficult to make this decision on my own, as i received very little support or understanding from those in my life (minus the exception of my incredibly supportive best friend). as so few people in my life knew of the mental heath downfall that the prac experience gave me, they did not realise that simply continuing the degree was not really an option for me, as it would only negatively affect my life.

so, i am now balancing nerves and excitement at working towards a new career beginning in february next year.

heres hoping that i have my true purpose, and that i can create and maintain some real friendships within this next career path.

next on the agenda of my life, is the preparation towards my (hopefully) final surgical procedure in december.

when i was born, i was 2 months premature, and i was also born with a condition called PFFD (proximal femoral focal deficiency), which basically means my right hip and knee were not completely formed, and my right leg was half the length, and would continue to grow at half the rate.

when i turned 6, i had my first surgery, which involved an ilizarov frame being put on my femur and tibia to lengthen the bones.

i had another ilizarov at age 13 on my tibia. and anothe lengthening procedure, this time an ISKD rod when i was 18.

between 6 and 18, i have also had many other surgeries, including a hip reconstruction, bone graft on my hip, a plate inserted as a result of a fracture, a surgery to the growth plates in my left knee to slow their growth, a bone traction procedure to correct a patellar subuxation and more that ive probably forgotten about.

currently, i have finished all of my surgical procedures, and my legs are now only about 2cms different in length (after achieving approximately 25-30 cms of length through the surgical procedures.

however, i still have the ISKD rod inside my femur, which needs to be removed. in december i will be going into hospital to have the ISKD removed, and all going well, this will be my last PFFD related surgery.

i am very excited for this process to be over, but also quite nervous, as it has always been a part of my life, and i feel it has shaped my identity to a great amount.

and so the countdown begins to my new non hospital filled life.. for now, until i potentially end up working in one..

xx phoebe

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